So you got married and everything was perfect. Your spouse could do no wrong, everything that he or she did was cute and adorable. Then one day these cute and adorable acts aren’t what they used to be. You begin to get slightly annoyed at them. Eventually, some time down the road, these annoyances can escalate and cause serious trouble in your marriage.
The following are some tips that can help you cool things off a bit so that tiny annoyances don’t build into insurmountable problems.
1. Keep It In Perspective- Little things can be overlooked. Your spouse is not perfect but neither are you, so try to focus on all the wonderful ways that your spouse enhances your life.
2. Breathe- There is a lot to this method of calming yourself. Take a few deep breaths and count to ten and you will be surprised at how your perspective returns.
3. Talk it Out- While some things can be overlooked, others can not. Don’t bring every petty issue to the table, but do take the time to discuss those things that really must be addressed. Wait to talk about them until after they have happened and you cool off a little bit. This will allow you to discuss the issue instead of fighting over it.
4. Do Things To Build Your Relationship- Many people don’t realize the value of taking time out of the day to to bond with each other. Participate in a shared interest, go to dinner, or plan a romantic getaway. You will find that your spouse annoys you less when you feel attached to them.
5. Turn The Annoyance Into A Joke- Sometimes it is better to laugh then get mad. If you can find a way to make the annoyance humorous, without making fun of your spouse, you will find the annoyance will go away and turn into a joke. Play a game of hide and seek with shoes that are always being left around the house, or freeze their dirty clothes if they always leave them on the floor. Nothing should be done with anger, instead it should be completed with a loving heart. Be careful not to cross a line and do something that will anger or hurt your spouse. My husband has a bad habit of leaving his sleep machine tube out and it brakes all the time because the kids like to play with it. When I make the beds in the morning and notice that he forgot to put it away I will then hide it on him. Each night before bed we would get a good laugh at the different places that I found to hide is tube. It has now gotten to the point that I am saddened when I don’t see it because I know that we will not be playing our game of hide and seek that night. It was the perfect way to turn an annoying (and costly) situation into something fun and bonding.
It is important to remember that living with anyone day after day can be stressful, but that dealing with the humanness of each other is the key to a healthy and happy marriage.
If you are having marriage problems and feel that you will need couples therapy in order to get you on the right track again, there is another method that is just as effective, will cost you less and can be done done in the privacy of your home. To learn about about the program, today, go to www.lightyourfire.com.
